Lejandra.

Lejandra or usually called Andra was my newest subject. We took the pictures at her place last February 14 at Antipolo. I was really nervous at first but found her comfortable to play with eventually.

Precious subject because she's far different from the others. She's brown and beautiful and intelligent looking, proud and professional and she can stand alone. That is why I somewhat felt intimidated. I knew she's experienced, and she might notice my recklessness and my skills might hide itself from her XD.

Well, at least these pessimism didn't happen.

I had fun that day.

Photo: Me
Model: Andra
Assistant: Niel
Guest: Papi (the cat)

Jumping Jellyfishes.

Happy new year!

Its been a very long time since I visited this blog of mine. Well, gosh it was really a long story.
I'm pretty pissed out these few holidays passed. I was at my worst. I feel totally out of good things. Depressed . Plus, there are some family problems and there's no reunion happened because of that. This was my very first dull new year welcome. There's no party, there's no cousins, uncles, aunts and friends. Its just me at my room faced on the monitor reading New Moon to kill the time. I sat there since 6pm after watching Spongebob Squarepants until I realized that it was 5min to 12 mid night.

So well, it still end up fine though. Its just me and my family without my oldest sister and my cousin whose present to celebrate new year. We haven't got that pile of fire crackers, just some few "kwitis" and belted small pops. I took some pictures.

I kinda hate fire pops. The explosive sound was disturbing. And coz of the fact that I can't help but shout a shock whenever I hear one BANG of sound. But I do appreciate colorful fireworks just like these somewhat jumping jellyfishes on the sea of pitch black sky.

I've tried to make a look back journal or a summary of the whole year passed. But it feels frustrating not to write all the high lightened events happened. Which was because I can't recall which is which.

Happy New Year.

Three hundred sixty five days.

Definitely a lot had happened. Everything goes swiftly out of our conscious minds. Everything still feels "just yesterday" though it was really yesteryear. For me, this whole 364 days of my life, was really a BIG BANG! The year was shaken off with a enormous swing of BIG BANG catastrophe.

A lot had happened for sure. But before the year gone passed, there are some heart warming events that made me..uhm ..a little bit steered up. Like for example the Twilight Saga Book Collection--I don't have them all as a touchable or the hard copy (the book for short) though. Only Twilight, the rest was a PDF file. Its hard coz I feel uncomfortable sitting and slouching every minute spent concentrating on the eye soaring monitor for hours. I still prefer the book so I can carry them whenever, wherever.

Another were some churches activities. We've dance for our Year End Socializing held once a year. That is why its hard to miss the event. You'll suffer from some people who did enjoy the gathering and will try to reminisce the happenings on time--and that will surely be means as soon and again and again forever coz every year they'll mention that.

We did dance with 80's groove. We did the choreography too and I love my dress that night.

I had fun while dancing.

Shy type? :D

And we did some bonding.


From left to right: JM, Angelo, Love, Efren, Aris

hahaha super star!

It did gone so well. And after the celebration the next day was worst (I am actually pertaining to this day). Yep! You've read the line--worst!

Ordinary to Extra.

I can't get over it.

I feel more and more stupid everyday.

I wanted to be different, to be somewhat unique from those typical person doing typical stuffs over and over again without feeling nuts. But I can't escape it. Just for damn reasons I don't know why I can't.

I'm nothing but just a plain stupid thinking that I was something more precious.
I'm not good at anything, I'm only good at trying to sell my fake talents.

Even if I tried my best to wrap those talents I thought I posses carefully in my arms, I still can't stop them falling.

Look at my photos, obviously they are just like the other photos. Normal and typical. And much worst, they we're just like Zemotion's works. It hurts really trying to abound my works away but as good as hers and falling with same commentary. Just look at my blog. Just look at this stupid blog! This blog is the best proof for my indecency.

Even in school works. I often tried to protest whenever people does not make use of my design which is not really necessarily "mine" alone.

Liar. Fake and stupid.

I was just trying to break free. To break the silences and be extraordinary.
Sorry for all the causes. Sorry for being stupid.

I can't get over it.

Night.

After all the jam frenzies these past weeks, finally the most awaited event came: The Foundation Day.

But before the main event, let me tell you the whole story behind that every molded inch of its almost perfect figure. Of course there goes the unresisting jams we had. Playful, funny and totally enjoyable. From the very first day I joined their practice--Paul, Ace, Ren, and Drew--I never stop wanting to joined almost every session they had. Until they decided to invite me as vocals.

A week before the event, we practice a lot. Every afternoon everyday of the whole week we practiced. The songs we prepared are:

Sweet Child - Guns n' Roses
Smooth - Carlos Santana feat. Thomas Rob
Bulong - Kitchie Nadal
Laklak - Teeth
Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden : later on we added

I was the vocals on Bulong and Truly, Madly, Deeply while the rest was taken care by Ace--I just did some background voicing. Truly, I had a lot of fun bonding with those people. I love those moments I had with them. I feel inspired and bubbly whenever I'm with them.

JAMMING
Behind

PAUL

ANDREW

ACE

REN

A lot--really--had happened. Like for example those late meetings and misunderstood's where to meet, or where to practice stuffs including the planers whose eventually the late comers--that part was so irritating--and the registration, the tickets complications together with some organization problems and works. It was totally a very stressing week, but behalf of that was the fun. The fun I enjoyed the most.

THE PILGRIMS
Transformations

Yep! This was the name of our band which was technically I don't know why. Well, I just let them decide. Before the music night, about 5 in the afternoon we had jam at the same studio but apparently with unusual audiences--to be specific, other campus bands.

Just one more small detail. I brought Niel with me at the campus that night. But he didn't make it to see me perform the whole night. He just saw me once when I sang for our organization's presentation.

PAUL


ANDREW


ACE


REN

And of course..


LOVE

Hide Your Eyes From Me.

"Let's work this out." I was about to say. But I didn't. I wonder why. Why not?

Hear this from me, I want to settle things out again. I want to organize myself again but I don't know how or even where to start. I had enough. I can't control myself whenever the situation attacks. I'm confuse again. I don't know where to turn my head on.

I had a job but I don't know if I did perform well. They told me to make 5 layouts that I thought will give me an instant 1500php in a week. But it turned out to be a failure. Wanna know why? Its because I supposed to take the photos myself. But really its not my fault. They didn't instruct me well before so I got the photos from net. So bye-bye 1500php in a week. Next they send me photos to restore. Its kinda hard coz the photos had so much damages but still I manage to edit the photo well and I thought it will cost 400php instantly. Oh~! After that, they send me an email saying they wanted me to do a on the spot job. So I said sure and ask when, but until now, there's still no reply.

Lets go to school. I can't believe it myself, I had higher grades now compare from the past semester. I've got 90+ in programming 04 and 06, in discreet. And guess what I've only got 80 in English which was my fave subject. In physics, well expect the low grades. The important thing there is that I passed the subject. I enjoy school days these past few weeks. Full of happy hours and the fact that I perform well at lessons. That is enough for me to feel comfy at school. I once got into Dean's List before and I wanted to again.

"Study and study and study." I was about to say. But I didn't.

There's something bothers me more now. Not the lessons, not the quizzes, nor the projects but nah~! I want it to stop running in my head. I've got plenty of stuffs to muse about, I want to stop thinking bout it.

There's more. I was elected as the design manager on our course organization that was organized last semester. As the design manger, I was told to design shirt, ID, and logo. And I did thinking about "I'm proud of myself when I see those shirts and IDs wore by the members with the logo". But something puffed in on my realization this morning. I have a friend that has skills on designing too. These past few days he always consulting me on his designs specifically on shirts that is for CITES (the org I was saying above). I asked him why and he told me that those designs are for the upcoming foundation day. I agreed that it was fine, but boom just suddenly! Does that mean that they're gonna use that design instead of mine without consulting me!? Oh~! I feel bad. I feel bypassed. but still I told myself "Don't jump into conclusion, clarify it first".

I'm going to sing for Paul insisted. I wanted to anyway. But I feel..embarrassed. Wanna know why? Its because I messed up on our practice yesterday. I thought I did the good job but wah~! No I didn't, did I?

I don't want to talk to people for now. I dont want to approach them.

Strawberry Jam.

Hep hep hep hep!

Today was not really a great day. But I can say that somehow it was--a little.
The reason why was because I had encountered skirmish along the roads from morning til tonight. I feel tired and defeated. Yes indeed. I had a fight with him again and I hate it. I feel very much down. Depressed, repressed, oppressed, suppressed--whatever! Well, just get the picture.

So here we are. I'm writing this journal to tell you the good thing that had happened this afternoon.
Note: "thing" as in without "s" meaning singular. Of all good things that can happen from morning til now, its just hard to believe that there's only one good thing that put some colors on my stupid day, what do you think? Well, I'm just being paranoid.

Anyway, so here you go. Again we had music jamming this afternoon and it was really fantastic. Once again I had a great time with them. Although I'm just an extra siting and circling and running around taking pictures and being juvenile there, somehow I felt belong. They practiced and played Smooth (Rob Thomas feat. Santana). I can't help but stamp my feet when the beat of the drums goes on. I can't help but stare and amaze by how Drew rock the drums wild. And Paul, whoa! He's really good. He really got his guitar squealed, if you know what I mean. I don't know the right term for that haha.




And Ace. he gave me some Goya chocolates. I shared it with Enrica.
Speaking of her. We had a secret haha..but I'm not going to share it to you. Not here! Its really a big secret, if you want to know what, ASK ME. (tee-hee)



Basically, the lights are bad inside the studio so I found it hard to take some good frames. This one was taken behind stage beside the drums. Fascinating, I love these guys--really. This was my first time to have guy friends that were not to shabby or arrogant or sarcastic although sometimes I hate them when they keep secrets and hide them behind the words "for boys only".
Though I know that's normal. Including with them, there still someone I'd like you to meet.


Tah-dah! Its the bubbly Rafael.



We're not close to each other actually, not until I lost my green handkerchief. Funny right? Getting close with simple stuffs. He's so bubbly and we like being with him (me, enrica and mich) cause his funny. No dull moments it seems. And for more useless void information, Rafael was not CS nor IT student. Aw..ful..haha..but still were cool. We were all cool with him.

No doubts Paul is really an experienced guitarist.I knew that. I've seen the proofs. I don't knew Drew and Ren that much when it comes to performance, but I can say that they're good. Paul twice told us about Ren's improving skills. Wow! And I noticed that improving performance of him just lately.



Well, at least this time I've got the pictures nicely. (clap clap)
Paul said he wanted me to sing with the band. I'm not really sure if that's gonna happen. Well, let's just see soon.

*With Enrica and Mich and Rafael and the Band : Paul, Drew, Ace, and Renuel.